A box of chicken

 

The other day I  bought a 40 pound box of chicken breasts from Troyer’s market!

Being the strong and in shape lady that I consider myself, I hauled it out of my trunk, up my garage steps, into my house, through the laundry room and living room and finally deposited it on my kitchen table along with a few other bags of groceries! (For those of you who know my house it is really not that far I am just in a preposition mode.)

Whew! what a relief, I made it!

Then it hit me! (Not the chicken, the realization)

I had been carrying around not only one 40 pound box of chicken but 4 40pound boxes of chicken.

Now I am pretty strong but I don’t believe that I could carry 4 40lb boxes of chicken in from my car in one trip.

But I used too carry that much everywhere I went!

For the next hour and a half as I cut and cleaned the chicken, marinated some and cooked some for casseroles. (Basically I was feeling like a regular pioneer woman putting meat up for my family for the long, cold, hard, winter. Except I didn’t actually kill the chicken,pluck the chicken, butcher the chicken or even have  to deal with bones and the other really gross stuff.)

I started thinking about how I actually felt when I had all that extra weight attached to me!

It made me realize just how much effort I had to put into just the simple, normal things of day to day life.

You have heard of the term Fat and Lazy!

I don’t believe it

It is just not true!

Try doing just normal day to day tasks with an extra 100 plus pounds attached to you!

It is quite a work out! I didn’t work out then because just carrying all that weight around was a workout. Which explains why I have such big calves and leg muscles. Just carrying me around was like lifting weights every minute of the day! Which is why the perfect boot eludes me. ( that is another whole post).

Here are some for instances of things that are just normal for me now that took a lot of effort before!

Getting dressed and showered

tying my shoes

clipping my toenails

getting groceries

hauling 5 kids anywhere, 3 in car seats for years!

Shopping with friends

Gardening

Getting in and out of  farm equipment

The list goes on but I think I will save that for another post too.

I was tired, but I thought it was because I was just doing normal mom and farm wife things.

Admitting this is hard for me because all those years of being fat,

I knew I was fat,

I was okay with being fat,

I was even happy!

I told myself I was normal and that by being fat it didn’t make me not the norm. I just wanted to be like every other normal person.

I realize now that as I tie my shoes, clip my toenails, workout, park in the back of Wal-marts parking lot ( well at least half back) Shower, dress, run here and there, up the stairs down the stairs, out to the barn, and I am not winded or exerted, I was not normal.

This makes me a little sad! Even slightly regretful! I think of the things i may have missed out on.

I am not a person to dwell on regrets so I will get past it! I didn’t throw those years away. I just spent them working harder and accomplishing less than I could have. They were still great years, some of the best of my life!

I get to experience things all over again that I had written off as never again or not possible. This past year I roller skated, ice skated, and  water skied.

I really didn’t miss them but now I can do them if I want.

I have the choice!

I really want to try rollerblading this summer.

You know it is funny I never really felt like I was limited. The weight came on over time so that I didn’t even realize how it made me feel.

It also came off so slowly that I didn’t realize how much more it really freed me.

Sometimes I find myself doing a normal task and I marvel how easy it is.

The more I gained (weight) the more I lost (normalcy).

The more I lost (weight) the more I gained (normalcy and health).

It is all relative!

I would still like to lose another box of chicken but I will have to do it one pound of butter at a time!