Say Cheese!

 

I was cleaning out my office cupboards the other day when I came upon some forgotten pictures.

Some pics that I still would like to forget!!!

One was of me in a swimsuit in a Kayak at the lakes, 2001ish.

I not sure who took it…. I am guessing my sis.

Usually I ran ( okay vehemently objected to having my picture taken ) I always said that pictures added 100 pounds to you. HA

This also explains why I have so few of pictures of myself.

But obviously when one is precariously perched in a kayak you are sort of trapped.

So what do you do?

You pose and try to look thinner.

This never really works for me.

Well anyways as I look at this pic it brought back lots of memories of that day.

1. me trying to get in that Kayak

2. me trying to balance that Kayak ( not an easy feat when you weigh in over 300lbs) Talk about tipsy

3. me knowing I had just been had  by having a pic taken of me in……you got it……. my swimsuit.

4. me enjoying some semblance of normalcy as I paddled along trying to ignore my arms and legs cramping up, trying to situate the paddle, trying not to tip over because I knew that there was no way I would ever be able to get back in myself.

5. Me actually getting out of the Kayak. I really am not sure how I did get out! I think it was a roll over!

Okay back to the pic!

I can look at it now and shockingly it really doesn’t bug me. It used to bug me but I am Okay with it now.

I look at in fascination… I look at it in fond remembrance…

She looks happy, She was Happy, She was really fat but she was me and I was happy!

Sometimes I worry that I wasted some of my life by being so fat. But when I look at this pic and I remember, truly remember it isn’t just all the effort normal things like a Kayak ride took.

I remember the fun I had too.

I remember the good times too and I am amazed at what I would try even being 300 plus pounds.

And that makes me smile!

I refuse to be ashamed or embarrassed I was me even then that hasn’t changed!

I am really not sure what the point of this post is.

It is just a post with lots of ramblings of the thoughts that are going through my head just now.

I am going to keep this pic ( unlike the many that got ripped up as soon as I saw them years ago )

It is good to remember and for some reason I have a hankering for a kayak ride just now!

I bet I would enjoy it more this time!

I bet I would still object to having my pic taken.

I bet my Sis would still take it.

I bet I would pose and try to look thin.

I bet I would still look happy!

I bet in 10 years from now I would still look at it in fond fascination!

Oh and here is me in the Kayak….

Slightly cropped…

You didn’t really think I would post full body pic of me in a swimsuit did you…

But besides from having no neck, a bad hair day, and HUGE sunglasses, I was happy!

But trying to look thin just wasn’t happening!